guess what guys. today i went to church. thats right, you heard me! first time in probably a year...or over a year...hahaha first time i willingly went to church without being forced.....and this time. i went to a church i wanted to go to, not one my mom wants me to go to or something like that. i went to my old childhood church. Fellowship Bible Church:) its a Christian church:)
and gosh....i was nervous...i hadnt been there in over 10 years. i dont even have a bible for myself! for the past several years ive just believed that as long as i have my basic beliefs and pray that i'll be fine.
but going to church and listening to the lesson that was being given, singing the powerful songs that have messages so deep, and being there with my best cousin....it all was so overwhelming and emotional. and during the second song, it was talking about how we will return to our God and He will take care of us in the mean time, we have to trust Him to love us everyday and on, even when we are back with Him. I just started to tear up during that song. I felt this overwhelming warmth inside of me, just crawl from the pit of my stomach and surround my heart. I felt this crazy wave of emotion just hit me, and mid song my eyes started to water, not because i was tired, no, but because i needed to hear that someone is always there for me to love me no matter what i do. i needed to hear that....
and the lesson today was focused around running our race of faith...
and it was kinda crazy because basically EVERYTHING i do, i relate back to my running, running has so many life lessons wrapped around it. i learn so much from every move i make! so to walk into that church for the first time, and have the lesson of that day wrap around examples from running......its as if God knew i was going to be in His church that day, and He wanted me to know he was watching over me. it blew my mind. but when running that race of faith, you will hit that wall, and your shoulders and knees will get weak, but in that moment of weakness, consult in someone you love, and look for encouragement. because even though this race is about you, someone else may be on that same path as you, and just talking can cure the darkest of problems. Knowing someone is there. The pastor also said that God gave you a specific path to be on, and he shared a passage that stated to watch your feet while you walk on that path, watch where your feet are facing and dont let them go astray. God gave you a path, and you may be tempted to go off it, but just know that as long as you stay on the path intended for you, good things will happen.
i dont know, just todays lessons at church was amazing:) and im definitely going back:) a girl needs that kind of spiritual relationship in her life, and im so glad im welcoming God back into mine:)
okay what else did i do today...oh i went home and finished all my math homework...but my homework was kinda rough..so i didnt do some questions and left them for later...i hate math. i dont care what level it is. i just hate it.....
i also had to memorize parts of the brain....soooo stupid. i hate psych....so pointless. i dont need to know which part of the brain does what....
but i was soo tired today so i was kinda quiet..not gonna lie, also my bf has been sooo busy lately so i havent seen him:( but guesss what...
i saw him tonight:) hooray!!!
he came over after my mom made a flawless shrimp dinner..so that was around probably 8:15ish? yeah i think so. so decently late for a school night, but my parents know i love him and wanna see him so of course they let him come:)
well when he came over i was working on my latest art project.....(it'll be done probably next weekend, so stay tuned) so he critiqued it a little, lets just say i can tell when hes trying to figure out the meaning behind my art projects and what they may represent. hahaha yeah he didnt get it....its okay though:) hahaha hes not that artistic;) hahaha
then we just talked about random crap for a while because we just like talking:) hahaha then hooray! he helped me with my math homework! hahaha now i understand:) good thing hes smart:) hahaha
we watched my favorite movie Crazy Stupid Love:) it was the best:) cuddling is the best thing to ever happen:) haha plus his cologne is insane amazing. so getting whiffs of that was the best:) haha
i probably sound sooo stupid hahaha im sorry;)
but when a girls in love...a girls in love;) hahaha
when the movie was over we just talked some more, about christmas, thanksgiving break....we are going sledding and ice skating:) im psyched:), we talked about how 3 years will be a breeze...its gotta be, and how we love each other...so so much:)
looking into his eyes makes the world small. nothing else matters and my focus zones in on him, and what hes like, ive learned so much about this boy in the past year...and everyday, i am proud to say i have a boy like him:) he makes me smile like a little girl, only because he makes me feel so small and protected, he wouldnt let a fly touch me.
then he had to go home:( school night:P
so we said our goodbyes and i walked him to his car:) and that was that. plus i nailed him with a snowball;) very funny. haha:)
my boyfriend rocks:) haha
ohhhhh also..guess what.
so yesterday i talked to colleges for a long time on the phone! and so i have a "wine and dine" with a utah college on dec. 3rd! so they are paying for lunch and dinner, and giving me a tour around campus and everything! im very very excited for that:) but that excitement doesnt compare to the other....
i spent time on the phone talking to a New York college:) sooo....this guy...full ride scholarship, run for him, and he wants to get me out to the big apple and he will also wine and dine me:) show me around campus, as well as NY. he wants me to run for him soo very badly:) and guess what...i think i might. im not committing till the end of senior season, because i might get a better school to offer! but who knows! so first week of january will probably be my flight out there! im super pumped:) New York...New freaking York....
also..this school is 15 minutes from central park, and is so so sooooo good for what i want to get in to:)
holy cow....senior year is ending soon...im gonna be running in college soon...its insane....everything is soon soon soon! ahhh! stressed out!
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