Yes, yes, I am going to Lake Powell on Wednesday:) I really can't wait! But don't you guys worry even a little bit, because I'll be back on the 25th!
So tomorrow will probably be my last post until next week:)
Ohhh next week......
It's going to be a rough week. Part of me wishes I could stay back and spend time with Ben, but we both decided that I should go to Lake Powell and he'll use that time to spend with family and friends. But I literally only have 3 days left with him. Today, tomorrow, and then one day when I get home. He has an over night thing at Camp Williams so he'll be home the 27th...and then it's goodbye...
Honestly...I don't want him to go. At all. The only reason I'm okay with him leaving is because this is what he's always wanted to do, and I support him through whatever he wants to do. So I will be standing by him 110%. It's hard to think that we are having our last memories together for a while. For example, the other day we watched Monsters University (amazing movie ps) and it was probably our last time watching a movie in the theaters for a while! We've had a really great time the past little bit actually. On Thursday we went running..haha
and lemme tell ya. It was rough. We went 5 miles up hill. Like really? I thought we were going on a run through his neighborhood, but when I got there we got in the car and he took me up Squaw Peak. And...I literally died. We literally got half way and I thought we were done, and then he said we were only half way...
But he was such a good boy to me:) Just the little things are what made the run endurable. He made me run on the inside of the road so I wasn't by the cars, if I was strugglin' (which was the whole run) he would tell me he loved me and lean over and kiss me on the cheek mid run, and when we got to the top we took it all in and then he gave me the biggest hug and told me he was so proud of me:) those are just a few of the things that he did to make that run the best run I've ever had. We got back to the bottom around 10:30pm haha but walking/running down the mountain we just had such deep and real talks. Not just about life, but about each other individually. I love our talks:) and then after we went to our favorite place to get drinks, Sonic and then watched Family Guy at his place:)
And then he took me to watch Despicable Me on Friday!And that was SO fun. He got me ice cream and we just relaxed with a movie, it was a pretty chill night:)
And then on Saturday I get home from the gym and I read my texts and he asked me if I wanted to go to the Mona rope swing with him and his family:) Sooo of course i'm all for that! So he picks me up and his brother, his girl friend, and then his little sister are all there and we go get slurpees up at 7-eleven! When we get to Mona it's way too crowded, but we end up getting a few swings in before it starts raining! And not just sprinkles, like it's full on dripping. But honestly, it made it 10x better:) Ben was...really impressive as he did his cool flips and such into the water;) and then we went off of one together and it was SO fun! ah! Afterwards we drove home and stopped to get something to eat. We got back to his house and took turns taking showers and then Ben and I went outside and jumped on the tramp and then played basketball and he destroyed me in HORSE. It was awful....
But then he did this crazy trick shot and he made it and he was way too excited:) it was the cutest thing ever:)
We relaxed on the tramp for a while and cloud watched, talked about everything:) I was enjoying the moment so much. I tried to take in everything. I know it may sound creepy, but just trying to memorize the way he smells, the way he looks at me, his smile, his laugh, everything. I'm trying to memorize it all, because I know i'll be without it for quite some time, and I just..don't want to forget. He kept looking down at me and would just watch me, so I felt like he was doing the exact same thing as me. He would tell me, "I'm out here on this most beautiful day with the most beautiful girl" and would say things like that every now and then. We didn't even want to bring up him leaving anymore. It wasn't worth ruining the moment for. Even though our moments like that are becoming limited, we didn't speak a word about that, I just stayed close in his arms as I watched him talk and listened to his voice. It was a more than perfect moment, and we both agreed to that. Moments like that can't be replaced. Being right there, I've never felt so right, so safe, and so happy. I know he's the right one for me.
In my opinion there is multiple right people for you. You can fall in love with as many people as you want if you let yourself do so. I fell in love with Ben, and there's no one else I want to love. I want to be his, and I know that we have to be realistic, so we will! But no matter what, I will do all I can to wait for him because this is something crazy, something real. And you can say i'm dumb for even waiting, that I need the college experience and to date. But there is so much more to college than the dating scene. If I've found the one, then I've found him:) and that's all there is to it. No if's, and's, or but's. I found my eternal best friend, and that's enough for me:)
So I've only got 3 more days left to spend with him, I don't know what we are doing tonight, but I know we'll make these two days count before I leave:)
I love him:)
Well this was the day we ran up that mountain. We honestly deserve some type of reward, people were honking and cheering us on! haha
Far right is Ben's sister:) he is the sweetest brother to her, and tells me everyday that he loves her so much:) I couldn't be more grateful to have a loving boy like him:)
Also, It was my one of my closest friends mission farewell yesterday:( he had an incredible talk, but these two boys below have been my greatest friends ever since junior high. It's sad to see us all part ways, but at least me and aaron (the blonde one) will be living close to each other in college. These guys are seriously family, I consider them my brothers:)
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