At the end of the day;

So earlier today I took some time to myself to reflect in recent events. I took in everything. All the advice people gave me, the actions I made, the feelins I've felt, mostly confused. I will admit I am disappointed with some of my actions....

For instance I accepted an invitation to go on a date, when I'm definitely not ready. So now I have to go back and tell him because I'm not ready to date yet. I also regret throwing away all of the stuff I had of Ben....everything is gone...and that really sucks.

As I was reflecting I decided to say a prayer. So I knelt down in my knees and said a small prayer. And the feeling I got after it was clear to me. Despite what people have told me....I had to talk to Ben. It felt more than right. And even though I was dead set on not speaking to him again...I was just overcome with the feeling that I had to tell him how that conversation made me feel, how I was currently feeling. And so I did...and we decided to meet later tonight.

Now I'm going into this meeting cautious. I need to consider everything that could happen. I'm not going to get my hopes up. All I know is that we are gonna talk. 

I don't exactly know what to think. But I know everyone would be disappointed if I went back to him. But at the same time, I have to think....I went to a lot of people when this happened. Because I like different opinions. And if we do get back together, I have to take the criticism. But I know that whatever makes me happy will be worth it. At the end of the day, what matters is what I think, my judgement is best for myself. Does that make sense?

So we'll see how our talk goes later tonight. I know that he is very excited to see me...

Wish me lucky readers. Wish me luck Sienna. I wanna meet you one day:) it would be so cool:) let me know if you want my number. I'll Facebook you or DM you on twitter:) 

Fingers crossed that no matter what we will be on good terms...