love letters

Everyone!!! Ben wrote me!!!

 I can't begin to describe to you how happy i am that this happened! It's not like i've been waiting every second for this!
I was literally in the middle of taking a nap and dreaming about getting letters when his sister in law, Katie, texted me...
"Guess what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" "Desi!!!!!!" 
"There are a few letters here with your name on it!!!!!!!!!!!"

Literally i jump straight out of bed and run straight to my car. No hesitation.
i wont lie. I sped the whole way there. Like sped like i never have before. I'm almost positive i got there in 25 minutes after i left and it usually takes me 30.
I walk into Katie's house and her husband, Mark points out where the letters are and i pick the first one up and start to cry.
hahaha he really is the same old attitude Ben.... :) i love him so much.
I hear his brother say "Desi, if you cry, we will kill Ben!"

But let me tell you, i just cried harder because as i kept reading i got happier and happier! Ben is doing so well! Well...as well as you can be at boot camp to be honest. He says he's in the Fox Company, Platoon 2126 and he graduates October 25th {I CANT WAIT}

He's still the same old Ben, laughing at the same old stuff with the same old humor. It makes me miss the kid more than ever. He said he's been running a ton and keeping in shape. He had to do 300 push-ups one day because they kept getting in trouble...
Things go by REALLY fast. One second they are making their racks and the next they are getting ready for bed. He's says he's so busy he hardly has any time to think about home. But he does think about me a ton...
He can't wait for graduation, that's really the only thing he's looking forward to! And frankly, i just wanna get him out of there and back home!! But to my dismay...we still have 73 more days till we see each other!! SEVENTY-THREE.

I also never knew that they were so particular about everything! When they eat they have to sit straight up and their legs have to be at a 45 degree angle. And they just yell at you, the entire time, 24/7! Even when they eat!! Ben reassured me that he is a tough little boy though and can get through that. haha oh good:)

He says that the riffles are pretty sick and "bad A" at first, but now he see's it as an extra 8 lbs he has to carry around, and he made sure to express in frowny faces how much he dislikes that haha he is such a cutie pie!

haha Ben...you have no idea. I can hardly wait another day.

The vibe in his letters is so upbeat and...Ben! He's still himself and i know it's hard for him, and it will only get harder, but his spirits are high and i couldn't be more proud. He is doing something pretty hard but listen, he is being an example while doing this hard thing, and not breaking down into a different person. I'm proud of him for being a prayer leader and for having so many spiritual experiences! I'm so, so proud of him. Really, he is leading by example. Just like how you are supposed to. The best way to share the gospel is to live it and i know he is trying to do that in every way that he can!

Sure, he will be different in a lot of ways, but i think he will keep his character and will come home with an unbroken faith.
He's still the same sweetheart i have known for the past 2 years, and even though he is so far away dealing with his own trials, he's still wondering how i am doing and reassuring me that he's still there for me. He wants to make sure that i'm okay, and that means everything to have his love and support.

It makes my heart ache that i can't be there in person to thank him for these more than perfect letters. I'm a whole new person waking up this morning. I feel like we are a step closer to graduation day! And now that letter writing can become a habit, i have something to look forward to each week! Except, i have so many letters to send out. So, so many....

{ & that's not even all of them..}

I've probably read over these letters well over ten times already, and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet! Just knowing that he sat down and was writing those words to me, comforts me beyond what i can describe. Knowing that he is okay and doing well, hanging in there, makes me so, so happy! 
My baby is fine.

Anyone who is going through my situation, whether it's a Marine, someone in the Military, a missionary, etc.
You know exactly what it's like to receive a letter. I don't know if you cry like i do, but i think anyone would agree with me when i say those letters can be a lifeline. It's hard because i know he is doing something that kinda...sucks. Really bad. All the time. He told me that they treat him like crap there....so that's the hard part, because i know he can be with me back at home.  But knowing that he is doing okay in that kind of environment that is constantly awful....makes my day and each time i see his handwriting on those small pieces of paper, i feel reassured because they are his words. Sure, he won't be doing unreal. But i know he's relatively OKAY. It amazes me how simple sentences on a piece of paper have that much power.
You can tell in one letter he was cut short because the sentence just ended abruptly, so he probably had to clean up fast and report to his Drill Instructors. I've made up a bunch of different scenarios of why it was cut off so suddenly haha.  It's kinda funny how much i have analyzed these letters. But i could literally read them over and over again!

Hahaha the best part was when he told me about his hair cut....
He hopes that i like a bald, scar covered head.
Gosh, i can't believe he said that!! Of course i'll love it {maybe with time and getting used to...}
But i'll be honest, of course it'll be a shock to see it all gone. I mean i was a huge fan of him when he had hair as long as me!! But it has gotten shorter over the years and that has made it easier to picture him bald. Man... he is going to have a big forehead:) haha oh he is soooooo cute!!! I can't get over it!!

That's it. He needs to come home. I'm so over this boot camp thing! I need my favorite boy!!

Also, i've learned a lot while he is gone and through his letters...
//we really like to call each other babe
//he's been my muse to start crafting....weird.
//writing has become a HUGE type of therapy
//i can already see that he's going to change into a better, stronger man 
//he really does have a gift for writing...

he's my sweetheart

and it's kind of adorable because he mentioned in his family letter to his sister in law that she has to call me and hang out with me because he "kinda loves me a ton!" 

so. so. so. adorable.

I love my crazy man!!!

ditto Recruit Mitchell, ditto. 

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