usually I will blog about a good spiritual experience I've had
but I didn't have one that really stuck out to me a ton this week.
I honestly just stayed the same, except for a lot of trials were thrown at me, so my faith I feel like I was tested.
and yes, it did waver a bit, but I feel like because of scripture study and prayer, I am back on track.

this path that I am going on to be better and to welcome God into my life more is not an easy one. 
not the slightest.
temptations are all around me, and when I think i have a handle on things, i realize I don't
and that's the hardest part, and certainly the most discouraging.
when I try so hard each day to improve and strengthen my relationship, but then at the end of a successful week, i see myself so far from the end goal still that it gets so discouraging.
and suddenly everything that I feel like i have a good grip on, becomes irrelevant and pointless.
but then I woke up this morning a little late before work, and I realized that I didn't have enough time to read my scriptures before i had to head out.
but something inside of me kept saying
make time desi, make time to read the Lords word.
and so instead of rushing out the door, I sat down and read a few scriptures, only a handful, including my favorite one that I read every time i need a little spiritual pick-me-up.
Helaman 5:12
SIDENOTE: this scripture was a reassuring factor to me getting baptized, after I read it, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of pure joy, and that should be enough.

we must remember the foundation of our faith, be strong and stay true to it, for that foundation is the base of everything I have ever learned and it shaped my path back to the Lord.


I realized that after two weeks, my scripture study and prayer had become somewhat a habit. it became something that I needed each morning in order to continue on with my day.

I also discovered that support is essential.
I have a friend that is going through the exact same thing as me. he literally is a rock for me with this type of stuff. when one of us wavers and struggles, we talk to the other.

and the great thing is I don't feel as if he's talking to me because he KNOWS what he's saying is right, because sometimes I feel when someone who is so strong in the gospel talks to me, I feel like i'm being talked down to almost, and it's totally not their fault! it's just me and my situation.

 but my friend is in the same position as I, so it's weird but I feel very equal with him, like I am not the lesser person with a lesser faith.
 I really only would tell him what I would want to hear if I was in his situation, and I feel like he is the same way, and we have faith in our words, speaking off of what the spirit is telling us to say.
trusting in the Lord that what we are learning each day is good enough, at least until we learn a little more.
I hope that made sense.
it's good to have that support, and it's not like im happy he's struggling like myself, but it's reassuring that I am not alone. that someone out there is also trying to strengthen their relationship with God and be the person they desire to be on this earth.

I feel like im in one of those support groups.
"hi, im Desiree, and I have a struggling relationship with God"

and then I get asked how i'm doing and about experiences I've had and if i need any help. everyone in the circle shares what they are doing to do better and you end up meeting people that you never thought would be going through the same thing as you.
BUT it's comforting.

I mean yeah, i'm not in an actual support group, but people who genuinely care about my progress will check up on me and encourage me, or if I don't want to hear the encouragement, they will just be good friends. and that alone makes me want to work harder.

wow things are getting pretty serious so how about two comics to lighten the mood, because they made me laugh really hard.


back to the point...

no one wants to walk alone, which is why God has blessed us with a beautiful thing called companionship.

I have people I can always turn to despite how difficult life may seem for me.
I have the friend that knows my every fault and screw up, but is standing by me constantly
I have the friend that understands exactly what im going through
I have the friend that makes me want to strive to be more Christ like
I have the friend that is willing to drop everything to make sure i'm okay

support is essential on this road back to Christ. and if you feel like you don't have that support...


talk to me, email me, message me.

I promise im here and just as vulnerable and weak as you may feel.
but I know that the Lord has given me just enough strength to keep moving forward and has definitely blessed me with enough support to keep my head on straight and not go crazy haha.

there was nothing especially spiritual this week as far as answers go, but I have made some strides...

I've started the road to finishing the Book of Mormon
I've worked on following the Lords commandments
I've worked on my scripture study
I've worked on making my prayers each morning and night to be more personal instead of repetitive

I've been working.
and that's all the Lord really wants from us.
to keep working.


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