another chance

a lot can happen in 24 hours.

my day started off terribly wrong. every part of me rejected the idea of something good coming out of today. i just couldnt bring myself to move past what had happened between me and that boy......
id already told you how my day had been going all the way up to that random text message he sent me.
it was followed by a call about an hour later. because i got out of school before him, i had to wait a whole hour and 20 minutes longer. plus time for him to get home. let me tell you, it was thee longest hour 20 minutes of my life. haha...
but then he calls.

i pick up and he says hi, the usual meet and greet over the phone.
then i simply question him with "what do you want?"
he starts saying how he needs to explain himself from last night and that the things he said;; he said out of confusion. he didnt mean the words he said. and ya know what...i believed him. because i know this kid, and the things he said last  night...was not him at all. but that still doesnt explain anything.
he told me i brought up a lot of good points in our discussion from last night and i agreed that i did. every point that i made i had an experience to back it up with or something that would justify what i said very well. he said he had thought about my reasons all night, struggling with sleep, and thought about them all day today. and he realized that he wants me back in his life:)
and let me tell you.
right when he said i want you back...
my face brightened into a smile.
the smile wasnt forced, it wasnt hesitant. it was full on gums and teeth and all. a smile:) but i still had to be cautious...
i made him explain why he said certain things that hurt me the most. but he worded his reasons so well....i had to think about things for a while...but in my heart, in my soul, regardless of what people may think, i knew that being back with him would make me happy:) and thats all that really matters. is happiness.
after much silence and some consideration. i decided that i want to be in his life too, i miss him... hes my best friend. how can i let someone like that go? so here i am and i cant stop smiling:) ben and i are finally together again:) and i couldnt be happier:) also..i found another tswift song that fits kinda what happened:)
its called Stay Stay Stay Stay
its super cute:) and works:) so check it out:)

after that whole thing...i did LOADS of hw. my motivation was just crazy. it wasnt just that, i was in such a good mood. i played with my little baby siblings, did my chores with soo much happiness, and walked around the house with soo much life.
what a contrast from just a few hours prior that conversation...
i went to my best friends house today to do some ap calc!:) hes my best friend. no lets be honest. hes my brother. and he has been since 8th grade.
i dont know what id do without this kid. hes honestly my backbone. someone i go to for absolutely anything.
so i ate dinner with his family, then we did some math. obviously with both of us our attention span just goes elsewhere besides math. so it took us 2 hours to get through a couple problems...
we are family, and i have no idea what id do without this kid....hes my best friend and brother.
we talked about everything. everything. it was something that i really really needed.
some people may say that you cant have a best friend thats the opposite gender without it turning into more.
but ryan and i have been tight friends since the very beginning...sure we liked each other. but it wasnt something super serious....at the time, maybe, but looking back, no. ive never kissed this kid. and im so happy and so glad. because hes my best bro, and thats weird.
hes definitely always been there tho:):)

my best friend:)
also...family just always has my back. and my little siblings are always there to make me smile:) and im so  grateful for that each and every day.
a person has a lot to be thankful every day with their lives...
my beautiful brother:)

Lesson of the day....
second chances may be given out rarely. but you never know if they are worth it unless you make the effort to take that leap of faith.
opportunity isnt given to you, its not all logic. its something you need to make possible and give a chance.
if in your heart you know another chance deserves to be given, let nothing hold you back. go for it, with all your heart, all your soul. never let regret be an option, you were given a second chance for a reason. use it and respect it with every fiber of your being. treat it like a last chance.
but dont underestimate it to be one. love it.

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