10/30/2012

smile cry laugh frown

hello everybody!
well today was an..eventful day. haha to say the least.
lots of surprises and such.
except for school. i got to school and endured psychology.
actually to be honest that class is getting more and more interesting. I actually really do enjoy listening to what my teacher has to say, I found myself starting to relate to her examples she gives of different psychological situations, if that makes sense.
What I mean is that psychology is the study of the human mind and its functions...a scientific study actually! I learned that in class first term ;) haha
But what my teacher talks about can relate to anyone. ANYONE.
I swear she knows me on a deeper level, and it's not because I took her public speaking class sophomore year, it's because she knows how people are. She has studied this type of subject for so long that she can be a psychologist, she just can't diagnose people ;) hahhaha well, that's how she put it...haha
It's really cool though, that class, im beginning to think I won't try and be late to it anymore;) hahaha

OH! I also had conditioning today:) and guess who did a workout:) like a WORKOUT! I havent been allowed to do a running workout in soooo long! and I did so well! I finished first:) I've still got it!;) hahaha jkjkjk. it's gonna take a lot of work and motivation to get back into the swing of things, and yes, I do have to be cautious still. I cant just jump back into things full force! that just leads to more injuries! Because sure things may feel better, but in reality, your poor injury is still weak and needs to be strengthened! so im resting for the next day or two and doing spin bike:) hahaha
oh and lifting weights! I like to lift:) I feel huge when I leave the gym:) hahaha working out just makes me happy and puts me in a better mood for the rest of the day:) its a great way to get rid of all that negative energy and feeling. I love it:) especially running:)
after I had conditioning today I went and talked to my best friend! And I was just talking about how great it felt to run and how happy I was and stuff and he stopped me mid conversation and was like, "des...you should be a motivational speaker or something because gosh, you're making me wanna run so bad right now!" hahaha I took pride in that;) hahaha

so then I went to work and I made a new friend! shes a patient and she runs XC at one of the best XC high schools in utah, American Fork. Shes only a fresh...but shes way chill to talk to and I like her:) my friend that I met there like two months ago..today was her last day for treatment:( I mean...thats good! because shes totally healed after her knee surgery! but gosh....I form connections with these patients! Sometimes its hard to see them leave forever! hahaha but I got off work early today and was able to make it to the half hour powder puff practice! haha its gonna be an interesting game...hahaha
but then after powder puff I went and played some volleyball with my two best girlfriends, and also my friends sister....who im way tight with, and that same girls boyfriend. hahahaha if that makes sense.
so to draw out a picture......
best girlfriend #1
best girlfriend #2 -sister and her boyfriend

yes, clear now? :) hahaha

but that was a sick game of volleyball:) hahaha

then I chatted with my girls for a while after the game and that was nice:) we are having a girls night saturday:) how pumped am I?:)
so pumped.

okay but then when I was driving home, my mom and I got into a very heated argument. It was about things and things were said that dont need to be repeated.
but lets just say it led to me almost not going home.
but my Norweigian friend...whom I have gotten close with, bonded with, and just...shes like my sister. I called her and she was at someones house, but she made them drive to meet me where I parked my car and she full on got in my car and talked with me and I felt so much better! Then...gosh...she filled up my car with $10 of gas money and bought me skittles. like, what the freak? what friend looks out for someone like that? shes so real and so true and shes got me and she KNOWS that i'd do the same for her. Im making her a huge card and paying her back $10 after pay day on thursday and giving her skittles. honestly. this girl is my girl. shes an incredible person. It's gonna suck SOOOO bad when she has to go back to Norway:(:(

but when I got home my mom wasnt home, so I talked to my dad about everything.
Its so much easier to tell my dad things, he calms me down and brings out the best in me when I talk when i'm frustrated. Like I can talk without yelling when im around him. and he totally walked me through how i should approach the situation and when my mom wanted to talk, I calmly told her, "mom, im still kinda upset right now, but I will talk to you later"
so when we did talk later...things were good:) my dad was there to direct conversation and help us understand. Its like my dad play grown up after two young kids get into a fight. that was his role in the conversation. I dont know, after that talk, everything was okay:) I love my family to death, and even though we may disagree sometimes, we just need to work on communication, because we never do anything to hurt each other, its all out of love, and im so grateful to have such a strong and supportive family with me:) I love them. so much.

and then of course, to make the night better, my boy sends me an amazing text:) he even called me earlier and made sure I was okay, even though he was busy in the middle of something, he made the call in the middle of being at the store with his buddies, and that means a lot:) I love him. so much. so so much.
and ooooohhh. I told my parents that I loved him tonight too;) taking some big steps!
I know me and this boy just got together, but remember we were together my entire junior year of high school. and im gonna be honest. our feelings never died. the slightest, since our break. So we dated other people during that little break up just because its what you do when your single, not like it wasnt fun, but we just didnt have each other. and he tried to get back with me in the summer, but i said no...i dont know why i did that...i missed him..idk..it was a dumb decision on my part..i was kinda just scared that i'd get hurt again.... but yeah well we lived out lives without each other for a while and yes, we lived them well, but being with each other, just feels 10000000000000x better:) and not because im dependent on this boy. because im not, I can live without him. Just picturing him not in my life, hurts so much. So its almost like. I want him there. hes my boy:) and he doesnt just want a relationship or someone to call his girl. He puts me above him in the relationship, respects me, loves me, keeps his priorities straight and goals strong while being with him, loves my family and especially his. of course:)....he does all he can just to make me smile. That means the world. And I guess thats a little cheesy, but hey, love is love:) nothin you can do about it:)

but im going to bed...sorry this was a suuuuper long post! just lots happened today:)
night!:)

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