Quote of the day, because I really do love him, more than he could ever know.
You never really know what to expect at the beginning of each day. You don't know a single thing, especially me where I kind of just wing it each day. There's no exact schedule I go by unless its going to work or attempt making it on time to school. I just never know.
So who's to say that a perfect day could never go wrong?
No one really...
Being able to be honest with yourself and someone you care about is kind of a big deal. Trust I guess is something that is really hard to give someone. But once you do, you basically put your faith in them to not let you down, avoid that kind of heartache. So for Ben and I to accept the fact that our priorities right now are not our relationship but other things, was a tough one.
So my Ben and I are now content with living our lives for now through friendship. The fact that he is leaving soon, that he may leave earlier than August 5th actually, is hard. And this time with just our friendship will allow us to get used to the fact of being apart and content with just our friendship. For now.
Of course I miss him, I miss him every second. But that's no reason to be bitter or gloomy about it. I know where he stands, how he feels, what he wants, I know everything I need to know. And that alone is keeping me going, just knowing that.
And it's not like he has cut me out of his life. We talk on the phone every night, about our day and whatever comes to mind. We still long to know what the other is doing, just all the little details we love to hear. He still lets me know he loves me, we are both still supporting each other with his soccer and my track and field like going to games and meets, he's coming to my graduation and i'm attending his, and we are still going to our senior prom.
Really, i'm not as upset as I would be if he was cutting me out. But to be quite honest, he's embracing more of me than ever. I'm still going to write him when he leaves, and he wants me to come to his bootcamp graduation still, so I will:)
I told him i'll stand by him 110% and even though things are a bit different, that will never change. He's my best friend, and a small sacrifice of time now is worth an eternity later. We'll be alright:)
I do have some thrilling news actually.
I had another missionary lesson yesterday! And I am pleased to announce that the baptism of Desiree Marie Guerrero will be held on May 4th 2013 :)
If I could choose one word to describe how I feel, I would say blessed. The amount of love and respect I feel for me during this decision is comforting. And that's just it. For once, I feel like i'm making the right decision with no doubts. I am happy:) Genuinely happy, and nothing, not one thing can disrupt that happiness. Of course, it does put a bit of a downer on me to see my parents disapproval show on their faces each time I look at them or even bring up the topic. I wish there was some way for them to understand and see now. But if not now, maybe later. I know that my Heavenly Father has a divine plan and that I should trust it no matter what, because look where He has led me.
I am absolutely happy, and I can't wait to be part of this incredible church:)
Wherefore, ye must press forward with steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.
2 Nephi 31:20
Also, my hamstring is doing slightly better! It was not fun at all to pull that thing, but I should be up and running by Thursday! Literally! I will run and I will do well. I'm so so excited!
Plus Ben is going so i've got to do well if he's watching;)
Kidding, hopefully I could take dead last and he'd still love me all the same;) haha
I love him, and miss him...a lot....
Shout out to my best friend who is getting an awful root canal today! I'm gonna bring her ice cream so she'll be fine;) haha
Some memories from the last track meet:
those extra pictures:
Hi! okay so this is the craft I will be starting soon, I imagine it will be super cute and i'm ecstatic to start on it!