an opinionated post

i will admit.
lately i have been struggling, in a sense. 

and my relationship with God may seem to be faltering. 
i havent attended church in quite some time.
and to some people that may seem like i am "falling away" and becoming more distant from my eternal happiness and from God (or so i've been told).

but how can someone tell me that when....
i personally have felt God in my life lately in more ways than just one.

when i have come to recognize on my own, the basic message of Christianity. 

love and forgiveness.

Heavenly Father has loved me, and he does not love me more or any less than he did 10 years ago. 
i continue to maintain my relationship with God by talking to him each day intently.
my testimony of prayer has not swayed, if anything, it is stronger than ever. 
my relationship with God is personal, it is intimate and real, i can not describe to you how his hand has worked in my life recently, directing me on paths i never dreamed i'd encounter.

my testimony of scripture study has not faltered.
reading Gods word is precious to me.
and it is incredibly hard text to understand, but so simple once you do.
not to mention you are reading God's word, which, when you really think about, is AMAZING. 
it's so cool how something so old, can be so relevant. haha i don't know, but it's pretty dang awesome and i'm still in awe about it each day. 

i have made it through trials that i never thought i could overcome.
i have lost friends, i have gained friends.
i have made better relations with my family.
i have become more independent and have been trying new things every second i can because who wants to miss out?
and surprisingly, i have been told that i've become "obsessive" over that. 

but who can blame me?
the world is a beautiful place that is meant to be explored in filled with people that are meant to be met. 
and i dont mind obsessing over that and being passionate about that.

but even though what people have told me has hurt, i dont regret my experiences. 
im very grateful, because i have met people that i will remember forever and i have experienced bits and pieces of life that not everyone gets to experience (but i highly encourage you to). 

i wont apologize for my new found happiness and love of God.
sure, i may not be going to church much, sure i may be attending different worship services, but i am receiving the same love everywhere i go. 
and that is Christ like love from each person i meet.
Whether it's a bishop, a pastor, young children, adults, teachers, a worker from Starbucks, the tattoo artist, my parents, my friends, my coaches, my acquaintances, and anyone i come into contact with.

everyone deserves the same love no matter what their  beliefs may be.
and i wont lie to you and say that loving and forgiving is easy, because heck no, it's hard, especially when both of you are rubbed the wrong way.
but you can't take something back once it's said, all you can do is give the situation some space and time. in the meantime, ask of God to help you to love and forgive, and He will help guide you when the time is right. Trust in him, i feel like he's sort of an expert on the whole loving and forgiving thing so i'm positive he can help.  

i know that my own beliefs dont deserve to be insulted and looked down on, actually no one's should.
i believe that i will be with my father in heaven for all eternity, and with my family as well. 
i will live with them beside my creator. 
and no one can tell me differently.

no one can tell YOU differently.

religion is AMAZING. it is so interesting, every one of them. 
i have found that it is an incredible journey to go and explore and learn and find out for yourself what truly is best for you.

not whats best for him, or her, or your family, or your friends.

at the end of the day religion is between you and whomever or whatever you believe in.
and that's what it comes down to. your relationship with God is so important and personal i can't stress that enough. and some people wont find that relationship for a while, but it's okay, dont freak out about it. you will find for yourself one day if God is for you, or if He isnt. but that's your own decision to make, and i will not think of you any less. i actually think it would be fun to have a conversation with you because im truly interested in your opinion. so idk, DM me on instagram or something haha! ;)

and i promise im not preaching to your or trying to persuade you. 
but find your happiness. and if you are sure you already have it, then i congratulate you, because it's an amazing feeling and i commend you for all that you are and believe in. 
life is a lot better when you start living for yourself and i am grateful you have found that happiness my friend. 

i have learned to take chances and trust that the Lord is watching over me and guiding me. i've made mistakes and i have asked for forgiveness each day, and i feel at peace. 
i know my Heavenly Father loves me, and i have felt his love shower over me, and that's enough for me.
because i have felt that, and no one can tell me otherwise. 
and guys, im still searching , im still finding what is right for me, but i know i'll find what i need because i am continuing to keep God as my center and soul.

so cheers to happiness, to love and forgiveness. 
cheers to being you, loving you, and being completely you no matter what people may say or think.

life is no fun when your confused and dont know what you want.

so GO and find that, no matter what the case may be. 


  1. Ogden Temple open house. You're always on adventures. Feel His prescence in His house. He will teach you joy. Desi Darling, happiness is where God is, is what's God doing, is His love for you.

  2. It's easy to find what belief system "works or feels comfortable for a given individual, but what really matters is finding the path that God wants someone to take. Often times the 2 are very different.